Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Randomize
