I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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