I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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