I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
You need a sexual gate keeper
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
