sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
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