my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Randomize
