the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
