oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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