I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
