Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
