butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
