Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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