Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
