I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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