Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I use my feet as sexual weapons
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
