: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Randomize
