friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
