I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
