Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
