But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
