I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
