you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize
