Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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