it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
