Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
