omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
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