They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
