haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
