If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
