I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
