I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
