after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
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