Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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