i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
