12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Randomize
