So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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