I just threw up on my dentist
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
dude. I can hear the air.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
