Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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