Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
