Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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