after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
