Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
