dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Randomize
