I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Randomize
