i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Say something about gay babies.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Randomize
