I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
