Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
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