worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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