shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
You ate ashes out of my bong
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
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