dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Randomize
